Showing posts with label Jude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jude. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

On Motherhood


Yes, she is finally here! She made her appearance on June 18th at 11:09 PM. All sense of time was lost for me at that moment. I am finally getting used to the unusual sleep schedules, and feel a bit more like myself, but I can't get over how much I've changed in the last month. She has changed me. And so quickly. I didn't know that I would immediately become 'helen homemaker', but it happened! Gentlefolk, I have started to knit for her. If that isn't love, then I don't know what love is.
Tonight I realized that I feel like I have a family now. And having something so precious and hard won is very scary for me. I don't think I've ever felt like I have more to lose than I do now. I have never loved so completely, so quickly. I have never done so much for someone else without grumbling under my breath. I think I'm becoming a bit self-less! :) Unbelievable!
She is here beside me now, sleeping between her mommies. Her breath is light and fast. I can feel her slowly waking up, her body reacting to the pangs of hunger. I am honored to have her snuggled up to me even though I do not hold her blessed sustenance. She knows how to give me just enough attention to keep me thinking that I may have a chance of being a special someone to her one day. I hope that I am.
And I promise to her every day that I will try to be the best mother I can be for her. And that I will love her more with every breath, and until they stop, and even after that. Amen.